The Joys of Working With Kids

One of the joys of working with kids is moments like this, that make you think "am I in a comedy sketch? Seriously?". This happened last Friday. 

Student 1 (boy in detention, holding a book): Can you lend me scissors, please? 
Colleague: I hope you don't want to cut up that book
Student 1: no
Colleague: what do you want scissors for, then? 
Student 1: to cut something
Colleague: what do you want to cut? 
Student 1: something
Colleague: I'm not giving you a pair of scissors

Student 1 insists for a couple minutes more

Student 1: it's for student 2 Colleague: then get him to come ask me

Student 1 yells student 2's name (guy)
Enters Student 3 (girl)

Student 3: can you lend me scissors
Colleague (laughing): what do you want scissors for? 
Student 3: to cut something
Colleague: what thing? 
Student 3: just something
Colleague: I'm not going to give you a pair of scissors until you tell what you need them for
Student 3 (after a couple minutes of not telling): it's for a biology project
Colleague: what project? 
Student 3: I need to cut something. It's due on Monday (it's Friday)
Colleague: can't you do it over the weekend? 
Student 3: I don't own scissors
Colleague: from now on, I'm going to call you Cosette (character in Les Misérables)
Student 3: please
Colleague: I'm not even going to be home this weekend
Me: and the people you're staying with can't lend you a pair of scissors? 
Student 3: they don't own any
Colleague: I'm not lending you a pair of scissors
Student 3 (after a couple more minutes of begging): you're mean (walks away)